Day 12

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Woke up bright and early to meet a family friend, who was going to take me to meet her trainer friend. He was supposed to teach me some exercises to elevate my mood and energy levels, as well as learning some ways to eat healthier. However, plans fell through so it will be rescheduled for sometime later this week.

I feel a little less tired today, but I didn’t really sleep that well last night. Not as much anxiety today wither, more just feeling down still. Will probably bring it up to the doctor tomorrow when I see her and ask if there’s anything she can do to help with that. It might be related to the medication i’m taking. I just don’t feel as talkative as I used to these days. I feel like I lack in conversation skills it’s been so long since i’ve been able to hold a decent conversation with people. I feel bad sometimes having other’s do “most of the work”, but honestly I always feel so tired and “empty”, like I have nothing to say. It’s kind of defeating in a way and makes me want to go out even less sometimes.

Did a little bit of retail therapy, courtesy of the mom. She wanted to try to make me feel better so she gave me and my sister some money to spend at the mall. It was really busy with all the last minute Christmas shoppers. It felt nice at first, but as I’ve said before you go through periods where you do feel joy and “happiness” and then it kind of disappears after a bit.

I also had a massage appointment and then my mom obviously convinced me to do acupuncture. It was the weirdest thing, they poke you with the needles (a little sore) but then they hook you up to this machine which makes you like do some twitching movement. It felt so weird, but they said that it will help me sleep better tonight. We shall see tomorrow when I wake up. Now I just have some small red dots where the needles were placed. I do feel a little sleepy now though…