Day 8

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I’ve been feeling a little better today. Was the first time in a while that I haven’t felt exhausted waking up, wish I could have slept for a bit longer though. Had to quickly run to campus and drop off my final assignment, man was it slippery outside. Note to self: don’t wear UGGS in this kind of weather.

Saw the psychologist today and had a good discussion on self-esteem and how being associated to narcissists can really impact how you view yourself. It’s kind of depressing, since oftentimes people like people (a.k.a the pushover) generally attract those kind of people in my life. But having realized that I know that it’s one of the things I will be working on improving to become a more “balanced narcissist”, which is in the middle. Everyone has that trait, it’s a huge continuum. You don’t want to be too far left or right, but in the middle would be nice.

I just realize I often put other people’s needs before mine and it does impact you in some ways. I always feels guilty saying ‘no’ to people even if i have every right to because I’m afraid to hurt they’re feelings or feel rejected by doing so. I guess apart of me refused to always see that, it was kind of eye opening for me to do a quiz and see that. It probably has to do with me feeling like I let people down or something, a major guilt trip.

Other than that I don’t feel as sad anymore, maybe just devoid of emotion I guess? I would definitely say my anxiety is still here but it’s less than before. Hopefully within the next few weeks that will begin to disappear as well. I am starting to feel a little bit more “motivated” to concentrate, so hopefully I will put in a few hours of business law tonight.

Went to the mall after and bought my dog some booties. I think they’re a bit big, wish I could take a picture of her trying to walk in them. So funny! I also bought myself another Roots sweater (my favourite), so warm and comfy for all this cold and bitter weather we’ve been having. Plus I treated myself to a little pail of popcorn today to bring in a little holiday cheer 🙂

– Megan