Wishful Thinking.

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Don’t lie to me, that’s all I ever asked for.
I wanted to know so bad that he understood that, how much it hurt to be lied to.
Like I wasn’t deserving of the truth.
Two years of knowing and loving someone.
Lying to my face makes me feel like i’m deserving of those lies.
Sometimes I felt he never understood that lying to me was worse then hiding anything from me and letting me wonder and never stop.
I hate being lied to when my intuition says differently.
He would beat around the bush or shut me out, even though I was notorious for that myself.
As long as I asked the question, he would give me the true answer.
But that’s just wishful thinking, as the saying goes.
I want to believe the words, but my heart never lies.
I’m not dumb and I know i’m not perfect.
Maybe by asking no questions, i’ll get no lies.
But deep down I just want to just want to know he’s happy.
They say curiosity killed the cat, but really the feeling of being lied to is like having your heart ripped out and shredded into thousands of pieces.
I’d rather be hurt by the truth, than comforted by a lie.
The truth is I don’t want to go, I want to stand here with you.
If only you could just tell me to stay.
I will stay.
It hurts being pushed away, set aside and lied to.
I’m tired of being that one person who would always wait excitedly to get to talk to you only to be ignored until I fell asleep waiting.
You asked me what do I want from you?
I still want you, all of you, the good the bad,the temper, the anger, your past that always haunts you.
I just want to be that person who stands by you, and to love you.
I miss you.

“When you lie, first you misguide yourself then others.”- (via thebuddhistmind)

M