‘I’m training to help people die well’.

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Thought I would take a moment to share an article and video from a dear friend of mine living back in the UK. I was fortunate to hear about his journey to becoming a death doula back in January when I went back to the UK for my graduation and got a chance to catch up.

There are no words to express how proud I am of his courage in not only sharing his journey but openly talking about what is often seen as a ‘taboo’ topic in the Western world. Working in healthcare I have seen and been apart of a number of deaths and there isn’t really much support or open discussion for both the patient and their loved ones during the process and after. Many of us have heard about Birth Doulas, an individual there to offer support through a woman’s pregnancy and the birthing process, but even less of us know about death doulas. 

My respect for Toby is immeasurable and the support and compassion he has shown me in my weakest of times has not gone unrecognized. I am so fortunate to have met him during my studies and can safely say he has been one of the most sincere, compassionate, and brightest human beings I have had the pleasure of becoming friends with.

I hope you’ll take a moment to watch his video introduction and read about his journey and how important his role is in helping create a ‘good’ death. I’ve taken a moment to share his views in hopes that it will help him reach an even larger audience who may not have known about his profession.

Cheers,

M

——————————————————————————————————————–It isn’t often that I use this platform to express anything whatsoever, but I’m taking the time today as there’s been some recent developments in my life which I’m learning to be tremendously proud of.

As I’m sure many of you know, my life, like many, has had unique challenges. These challenges instrumentally reshifted following Owen’s death early 2016. Coming to terms with this truly life altering event, among many, through a continued exploration of myself and the world around me has led me down a very unique path. One which I feel my heart is aligned with and that much of my life has been working towards.

Training to become an end of life doula, something I describe as a compassionate partner to go through the dying process with, has been an incredible experience. It has brought along insights, challenges, and immense healing which I’m eternally grateful for. The work we aim to do is nothing exceptional, or worthy of the level of the praise that is sometimes given to us. It is only considered special in a world which looks the other way.

This is work based upon love, support, compassion and acceptance. These are qualities I invite you all to practice and integrate in your everyday life to not only serve yourselves, but to serve everyone around you.

Dying may seem a terrifying process, but it is one which we all must experience. If we surrender to our intuition and truly be with that experience and with our loved ones, there is the potential for wonderous moments alongside the unfathomably difficult.

I wish all of you the best in your life, doing whatever it is that you are doing. If you can choose to move through life with greater compassion and in the pursuit of love, I hope you may experience moments of true elation and a special bond with another who you are supporting.

The article below is something that I am thankful has made it to this point. Although I have a tremendously long way to go, personally and professionally, I hope you enjoy exploring my experiences and journey up to this point and find some comfort in the words I share but I appreciate that may not be the case for all.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/…/1b964900-cbc6-44d9-9f13-

I am immensely thankful for the kind words that have already been spoken about this work, this article and myself. I hope I continue to act in a way which allows people to feel pride in me.

Peace and Love
Toby

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