The Times You Live In.

It’s been a chaotic few weeks to say the least. I’m grateful for having had the chance to get away for my reading week and take some time to focus on something other than school. I guess I would say the past couple weeks have been filled with a lot of anxiety and recurrences of my depression. Coming back into school to find out half my courses are cancelled because of a provincial wide strike was a bit much. I pay to learn and I pay to gain experience but yet half my courses including my clinical have been shut…

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Life’s Changing Tides.

Naturally, life is a bumpy ride. In the flash of an instant, it can go from being downright cruel to magnificent the next, but then it can hand you days where you feel like you are permanently wrecked. But, I am a firm believer in the fact that the universe will never hand us things that we won’t be able to get through. For that anytime I was knocked down by a wave, I came right back up stronger than I was before I went down with the tides.  But it will suck you through a tsunami of tears, of…

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Onwards and Upwards.

Been feeling good about myself lately. The end of last year was such a wreck for me so it’s honestly refreshing to see myself going back to being me. The old positive, happy-go-lucky, and passionate person that disappeared after dealing with grief, heartbreak, and loss. Slowly but surely I am getting there and man does it feel good. I missed myself so much. I’m not going to lie and say everyday is easy because that would be a lie. I still get the occasional panic or anxiety attack but I know i’m on the right track. I know this time around…

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Lessons from Level 1 Nursing.

This week has literally been go,go,go,go. Since i’ve finished up my placement for the year, I decided it was a good idea to use those two extra shifts to pick up hours at my part-time job. Boy was I in for a surprise with how much time I lose out in other areas. On top of that with OSCE’s creeping up and our class not performing that great on the midterm test, a couple of peers and I thought it would be a great idea to book four extra hours in the lab to practice our clinical skills and interviews…

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Busy Bee.

Life is in full gear right now. I’m definately missing keeping up with my blog, but I’ve been finding it incredibly hard to find time to update. Hoping after this week things will start to settle down, but I realize I have a looooot to catch up on with school. How about that biochem or even more nerve wrecking the second round of objective structured clinical examinations (OSCEs). I have quite a few blog post ideas that are running through my mind though and i’m pretty excited to get to it whenever I get the chance. Crazy to think just…

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To The Girls That Have Been Cheated On.

I thought I would try something different today and write an open letter to the girls that have had their heart broken by someone who has cheated on them. We all make promises, of course. We all tell people we love them, we care for them, we could never live without them, but much of the time it turns out to be nothing more than empty, wishful thinking. I don’t doubt the words per se, but I do think in time actions speak louder than words. They say you often hurt the people you care for the most and to an extent…

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Making Amends.

Normally, I don’t post two personal posts on the same day. I like to save content and space things out but I felt this warranted it’s own post.  I’ve been doing a ton of reflecting the past few months over a lot of things that have happened over the past year or so. The people who have come into or left my life. I’ve reached out to people I haven’t talked in months and had enjoyable conversations. But importantly I feel inspired and loved by some of the people I have reconnected with. Many of those people know about my…

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Memories.

The past few weeks have been pretty tough on me emotionally. I think a lot of it started recently when I was asked to be the standardized patient for one of the healthcare programs at my school and then with the passing of both my dogs around this time last year. I love acting and I love the ability to help other people learn through hands on practice. But to be honest this case hit pretty close to home. I was a young girl who got pregnant and had to simulate the three decisions that come along with pregnancy (keeping…

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Gleams of Sun.

For those close to me, many know the last few weeks have been bumpy for me. I have had plenty on my mind to think about and have sought the advice of those around me on how I have felt about a particular situation that’s been going on. Sometimes it really sucks to not only be intuitive but to also be empathic. I pick up on people’s thoughts and intentions really quickly, sometime to the extent I don’t even need to be in the same vicinity as them. I know for some that’s a completely weird concept to wrap their…

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Where are you now?

I’ve spent the last week feeling sick not only mentally but emotionally and physically. I am officially exhausted dealing with everything. On some level it makes me angry. Angry that someone who said that they cared about what was going on could simply walk away and dust their hands off just like that. That it doesn’t matter what i’m going through to them. I expected more fight from them, more insistence to be involved in some capacity, or even to fight for the ability to be more involved. But it always came down to the same things, “i’m too busy…

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Roles and Responsibility, Where is the Line?

It’s been a pretty rough weekend, been feeling pretty sick, sore, stressed, and have had no energy to do anything. Finally today, I have some strength to focus on things and hopefully try to be productive for the busy week I have coming up. A few days ago a close friend sent me a link with a great ethical debate to it.Should men be able to opt out of fatherhood? http://www.vice.com/read/should-men-be-able-to-opt-out-of-fatherhood?utm_source=vicefbus My initial gut reaction is to say yes, he can opt out. If a woman can get an abortion without consent of the father, it makes sense that he…

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Things I Wish To Say.

It has been several months since everything unfolded. Although I realize that your journey has seemingly gone on without me, I honestly anticipated that by now, that you would have paused to reach out and provide something to help deal with everything and not just leaving me with questions and for the longest time, no closure. Please un-brace yourself should you choose to read it, I don’t intend for what I wrote to be a rambling rant about what kind of a horrible person that you are, I feel the exact opposite and have opted, in fact, to be mostly positive…

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Contentment and Anxiety.

Finally, a new theme I am absolutely digging right now. As my blog continues to expand and become more visited it’s an exciting step to take. It’s nice finally being able to have my own domain and have a theme in which I finally enjoy looking at on all the formats (ex. computer, tablet, and phone). I’m kind of excited to write my yearly recap post about my blog coming out in early December. This year has been the most successful year for my blog as of late, which is bittersweet in itself. Lately, i’ve struggled to cope with my…

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The Feeling of Being Let Down.

I guess I shouldn’t be shocked to be let down time and time again. I could use the time to focus on my life and what I need to do, but I can’t. I can’t focus with what’s been said and done. I could be focusing on writing my test tomorrow, but instead I have that pit in my stomach of disappointment, of sadness, of anger, and of fatigue. Instead I sit at my desk trying to figure out my next steps and how to deal with what I’m thinking about and dealing with. That I let things get this…

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Saying Goodbye.

This is going to be a pretty emotional post for me to try to write out. I spent yesterday with a close friend who has been grieving not only the loss of the relationship with let’s call him LJ that ended over the summer, but also her grief of having gone through an abortion. She had called me to come over after having spent part of the afternoon talking to him. It makes me sad because she hid it from so many people, only to open up about it with me after the fact. That she felt obligated to keep…

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Changes.

I’m actually really excited for this new website layout. I feel like it looks much more professional, clean, and relaxing compared to my old layout. I also really like the logo in the top corner. I think as my blog continues to expand and gain more views I want to learn how to code, design my own layouts, and possibly move to an actual domain one day. Not now though, got way too much on my plate to learn, but any tips on where to start would be greatly appreciated if anyone has anything to share :). The picture i…

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Tips for International Students

For those of you planning to pursue your education goals away from home, congrats! It is a huge step to make and I know how daunting it can be to start off fresh in a new country. I am so grateful for the experience I had at King’s College London and I hope those starting off in the fall will also have am awesome experience. London is by far one of my favourite cities and I am so glad I took a leap of faith and took the opportunity I had to study at such a institution. I decided to…

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Life with Depression.

How many times in my life I have heard people say “but you’re always smiling” or “you’re just using it as an excuse to get out of doing something” or “everybody gets sad, so you need to get over it.”.  Why would I want to live a life purposefully where I feel like crap for weeks on end? Yes, I do get sad like a normal person. It’s normal to be sad going through a break up, failing an exam, or losing someone you love. What is NOT normal is feeling sad and empty for weeks on end and not…

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