Day 5

I was talking to someone yesterday about my antics from the last two months and how they had felt like it had negatively impacted thier life. In essence, I had been really clingy to them during a time when they needed to focus on something highly important in their life. It’s a strange feeling to be depressed though, having someone you enjoy talking to pull away is a very alarming feeling. It’s like you feel a sense of panic and get anxious when they ask you to give them some space, when normally you wouldn’t feel that way. It’s like…

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Day 4

Guess who came to comfort me for the week? 🙂 It’s nice to see this familiar face and get to cuddle with her. There’s something always refreshing about having your dog by your side. I really have to thank my family friend for being kind enough to drive her up and spend the weekend with me. I just feel really tired since I decided to reach out and get diagnosed, I get especially tired around mid-afternoon. It can be hard to hold up a conversation since I just feel kind of tired all the time. I haven’t really had a…

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Gleams of Sunshine

Many might wonder why I chose to name my website, ‘Gleams of Sunshine’. To me it’s symbolic of life, we all strive for those gleams of sunshine in our lives. Everyone has their ups and downs in life and sometimes the sun can be blocked by clouds, making our life darker then it needs to be. That’s where I am right now, stuck under a cloudy sky, aiming to walk towards where the gleams of sunshine shine once again. – Megan

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Day 3

Yesterday was okay, I made it through the day without a single tear shed. I still felt really anxious for the majority of the day and I was so exhausted sitting through all my classes. I had to take a 2 hour nap in between the two lectures, which I normally wouldn’t have done. I still sometimes have moments where I feel like I just want to yell at something or someone. It’s hard to not get irritated. I feel happy for the people who have helped me through the past few weeks, especially to my sister and roommate. It’s…

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Five Stages Of Depression | Thought Catalog

Came across this article tonight, thought I would share. I feel think I am somewhere in the fourth stage. It really struck me reading the first paragraph and then going further. It makes me optimistic to reach the final stage of acceptance at some point. On the onset of a major depressive episode, sufferers will most likely ponder a series of questions: How could this happen? Where did it come from? Why does mental illness have to be so stigmatizing? It’s a mix of denial and anger, similar to the first two stages of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s famous model on death…

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Day 2

I lie awake in bed again, all day I have felt this anxious sensation in the pit of my stomach. My mind keeps tormenting itself by having flashbacks to some of the cruel things people have said to me in recent times. It really hurt to be called crazy, it stings so much still. I know i’m not crazy, but sometimes it feels like it with all the stupid/foolish/embarassing decisions you made because your mind was all fogged up. I feel broken. I feel like I was punched directly in the heart. I feel tempted to cry, but i’m honestly…

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5 Things I Love About Myself

I think it’s time I add a little positivity to the pot and write about something we should all take time and do for ourselves. This can be something I use when the bad days roll around and to keep me in tune with myself. 1. I’m kind. I would do anything to help a family member, friend, acquaintance, or stranger in need. I don’t do things because I feel the need to be nice, I do things because I want to do them. I don’t expect things in return, it’s nice to see people happy after you’re able to…

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Thanks for all the love and support!

The outpouring of love and support I have received from family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers has been tremendous.  All the positive feedback brings a smile to my heart. 350 hits in less than a day is pretty amazing! It’s nice to know I’m not alone, and I appreciate all those people who took time to share with me their stories of going through their own mental health issues. Each of you are so strong and all of you have become better people because of it. I look forward to reaching that point too someday soon. I encourage you to…

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Day 1

It’s been one day since the official diagnosis. I couldn’t fall asleep last night, I just had so many thoughts racing through my head over what I was feeling and what was going on. The amount of support and love from my family and friends was highly overwhelming for me to be honest. I had to wake up for 9 am to go see the Academic Counsellor about what I could do about finals and my courses. It’s almost kind of defeating to say that I have no confidence, energy, or concentration to write my final exams. I’ve always been…

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“Gradually and then Suddenly”

“Some catastrophic moments invite clarity, explode in split moments: You smash your hand through a windowpane and then there is blood and shattered glass stained with red all over the place; you fall out a window and break some bones and scrape some skin. Stitches and casts and bandages and antiseptic solve and salve the wounds. But depression is not a sudden disaster. It is more like a cancer: At first its tumorous mass is not even noticeable to the careful eye, and then one day — wham! — there is a huge, deadly seven-pound lump lodged in your brain…

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The First Stage: Denial

I recently came across a great quote that does a pretty good job at describing depression: “It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling— that really hollowed-out feeling.”- J.K Rowling The hardest thing to hear from someone is that you’re “crazy”. Depression makes you do questionable things, things that I would typically not do if I was my “normal” self. Being told things like “you need to pull yourself together” or “why are you so…

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